Secrets of the Past ch 7 Malec

CHAPTER 7

Alec PoV


"Magnus Bane." Feeling my mouth water at the prospect of a vanilla ice-cream I looked up and I didn't need more than a second to know that my bets had been right but that didn't beat the fact that the guy was fucking gorgeous. He was taller than me, he had his hair spiked in all directions and filled with colors, he had golden flawless skin, his wardrobe was so stylish and weird but in him it looked good instead of completely ridiculous and finally, his slanted yellow-green eyes.

I didn't even know that eyes like that existed.

It was simple to say that all my body functions stopped working for a good five minutes, I really hoped he was too hangover to notice.

"Hello? I think this guy is broken, can anybody else give me some caffeine fast!" I shook my head seeing the stranger –Magnus- call to my workmates across the bar, apparently he had noticed the staring. I felt my face heat up while I hurried myself on getting his order and trying to not think about all the snickers I could hear from all over the place. I finished the coffee in record time and handed it to him. "Thanks, keep the change." He told me handing me a ten and walking away while I tried not to hit my head against the counter.

Way to look like a fool Alec.

"What the fuck was that?" I heard Shane ask. I had to take a breath before turning to look at him, he was wearing the same mocking smile that I was sure that was planted in everyone else´s faces. "Do you have the hots for the Asian guy?"

"Leave me alone Shane." I mumbled before taking a step back to the register and busying myself in the other clients totally not thinking about how hot stranger was, or how out of my league -out my freaking planet- he was.

Once I was done for the day I escaped that hell as soon as I could, I loved coffee but I would rather work at a normal coffee shop than a Starbucks, but of course I couldn't find a job anywhere else being that all of them asked for some experience.

Just one more moth.

I sighed at the little voice inside my head, one more month to have the minimum experience needed to get into a real coffee place and learn real barista stuff…really, my mom would be proud of me, juggling two jobs and two younger siblings at the same time, I was a real example to the world…I also loved sarcasm by the way.

I was about to head to the nearest subway station when I felt my phone vibrate, I got it out seeing the caller ID.

Ivan.

I felt my chest flutter at the prospect of seeing him; I didn't lose time picking up.

"Hey." I said while I crossed the street already feeling a stupid smile creeping in my face.

"How are you today my pet?" I bit my lip at the name, it had been a long while since his way of calling me had affected me in a bad way, I knew what I was fairly well so now I felt it like an endearment.

"I´m…" I stopped dry when I heard a known voice around me, my eyes shot up until they found none other than Magnus Bane walking directly towards me. He was more beautiful than I remembered, he was even smiling now! I took a step backwards ready to bolt not wanting to embarrass myself any longer with him. "Shit." I hissed looking around until I saw an alley just a couple of steps behind me, I ran there and put my back against the wall as I felt my heart beat like crazy. Swallowing I dared to take a peek at the street, the guy was now putting his headphones and walking a little faster in the same direction. I pushed my back to the wall and stopped breathing while he passed by me, completely oblivious to all the craziness he infused in my mind. Once he was away I remembered that I was talking to Ivan and felt myself frown, what the hell was wrong with me? Yeah, the guy was the most beautiful person I had ever seen but I loved Ivan, how could I ignore my owner for some guy that not only had been rude to me, but I had never even talked to? "I´m sorry…" I said to the phone already knowing that Ivan was mad because I hadn´t been fast enough in answering him.

"Get here now." After he said this he hung up and I grimaced; now I was going to be punished thanks to a guy with a catchy name. I sighed before sending a text to Izzy telling her that I might be late again before walking to Ivan´s place.

The next day I was aching all over, for punishment Ivan had been a lot more vicious than usual, not even taking time in prepping me, it hurt like hell when he did that but I knew that I deserved it, I shouldn't be looking at other guys like that.

Even if they were gorgeous,

Or if they were right in front of the counter and staring at me with an amused expression.

"Did you hear anything that I just said?" he asked and I felt my stomach drop.

Seriously? I really needed to stop concentrating so much in my inner thoughts.

"I´m sorry, could you repeat that please?" He rolled his eyes not losing his smile before telling me his order that turned out to be the freaking most complicated latte ever.

I was sure he had done that on purpose, no one could want that sugar bomb on daily basis. When I finally finished it and I handed it to him I felt my body tense in expectation, had I done it right? Would he throw it at my face? Would he like it?

Why was I feeling like this? Who the fuck was this guy?

"Oh my God!" He yelled after he tasted it and my heart raced in pride, he had liked it.

"Mags! Come on sweety!" I turned to look at the door where a beautiful blond girl was standing. I bit my lip, she looked like a model, she had style and arrogance all over her...I didn't need much to guess that she was his girlfriend.

"I´m going!" He paid me before going to the girl. Together they looked so good it was kind of painful to see, so I had to make myself turn to the next customer and not overanalyze every confusing feeling that guy was causing me to have.

The next few weeks were torture.

I saw Magnus Bane every morning, it was becoming the highlight of my day even if I only spoke to ask for his order and tell him how much it cost. I was so pathetic. He didn't seem to notice me even if I had seen him make bad faces when some other guy took his crazy orders and didn't mix it well. I felt a little smug knowing that he only liked my coffee, I didn't even care that I didn't exist to him.

Again, I was pathetic.

The worst thing about all that was that Ivan was getting mad at me for being so distracted. He was getting more violent each day; there were times that I was literally afraid of answering his calls and going with him. And all thanks to that freaking walking rainbow that decided to saunter into my life. I didn't even know a thing about him, just his name and the fact that he loved colors. I was sure that once the mystery around Magnus Bane dissipated and I saw for myself that the guy was shallow and stupid, my life would be back to normal. My stupid not-crush on the guy would disappear and things would be at peace.

That was what I kept telling myself one day as I walked to his table and sat in front of him.

"Hi, I´m Alexander Lightwood, you are Magnus Bane and even if this sounds completely stalkerish, I tell you that it isn´t, so why don't we skip the awkward part and you tell me about yourself?" I was proud to notice how his mouth was hanging slightly open and his frappe halfway to his mouth. He blinked a couple of times before lowering the coffee to the table and narrowing his eyes at me.

"You are the one that makes the great lattes, aren't you?" Oh, so he had noticed me.

"I am." I nodded trying not to show how stupidly proud I felt of that.

"So…" he took a sip of his coffee "What do you want to know?"

If there was a place in the Lightwood mansion that I had liked, that definitely was the roof. I could just sit there for hours and hours without bothering anyone. It was a place that had always given me enough peace to think and relax. Sadly, now it was a place that brought up so many memories, so much emotion, that the second I had stepped in there I had fallen to the ground crying like I hadn't cried in ages just because I knew that I wouldn't find peace in that place anymore, in fact, I wouldn't find peace anywhere else, ever.

I didn't deserve peace.

I sat and hugged my knees letting my body shake with each sob. That was the only thing I could give myself because I knew that if I didn't let out some of the sorrow that clouded my senses, I would become insane. I cried for what it felt like hours, seeing in my mind each moment that had led me to this, each choice that I had taken me to make my life the hell that it was now. I fisted my shirt remembering the way I had pushed Magnus away, the way he had tried to help me, the way he had showed me that even if I had abandoned him, he still loved me. I whined grasping my hair feeling my heart ache when his words replayed in my head, he was giving me the divorce; he had finally gotten tired of dealing with me and I had no idea if I was sad or glad for that.

Once I was finally able to take breaths without starting to cry again I passed my hands through my face attempting to clean it, I felt my eyes swollen and my throat aching, but more than physical pain, I felt like I had a hole in my chest, consuming everything that I was; keeping me from feeling anything other than a painful hollowness.

I looked into the sky while I felt more tears roll down my face once I remembered what I had to do next. Even if I knew that I couldn't live without Magnus, I had to give him up, to let him free…

I had to sign the papers.

A wrecked sob escaped my mouth and I was quick to cover it with my hand. No one could see me like this, no one could know that, since last night…I remembered Magnus, that I remembered how I had fallen in love with him. They couldn't know that I also remembered my father, college and that I fucking remembered why I had left…that I remembered everything.

Ever since the day that I had managed to get an actual conversation with him, Magnus had stopped by every day, sometimes he just ordered and left with a smile and a wave, but most of the times he stayed there, at first in a table just making small talk while he ordered, but as the weeks went by he had moved to the counter, chatting for hours about everything and nothing.

He told me about his job as a stylist, about his cat and his best friend –Camille, the blond girl-, I told him about my siblings, about my mom and about how hard it was to cope with everything.

It had scared me at first, how easy it was for us to talk about everything, but then I simply stopped thinking about it, it felt too good to be a mistake.

Of course, until I remembered that I was pet, a whore and that he would never be interested in someone like me. And, by the way, wasn't I supposed to be in love with Ivan? What was I doing thinking about what Magnus could think of me? I was confused, I had been so sure that what I felt for Ivan would be the real deal and that my feelings wouldn't change. But now, every time that I was with him I imagined someone else.

I changed his cold brown eyes, for a pair of playful yellow-green ones.

I changed his white skin for a golden one.

I wanted to be surrounded by happiness and color, by awful pop music and easy chatter. I wanted Magnus Bane and that terrified me because, how could I walk away from that world? How could I escape Ivan? Right now I was at his house, alone in one of the rooms simply waiting until he decided to pay me a visit, lately I was feeling a lot more like a whore than at the beginning…some part of me was glad that he seemed a lot less smitten with me, that way I could earn my freedom a lot faster.

"Did Ivan ground you?" I turned to the door only to find Marcin watching me. He was Ivan´s right hand and the only other person I trusted inside that place.

"Apparently." I shrugged from my sit on the bed while crossing my legs.

"I´ve watched you lately, you seem a little…off." He closed the door behind him and I fisted my hands, he also was the only other person that could touch me, but I didn't want him to do it, not Marcin, not Ivan, no one…but Magnus.

"Help me get away." I told him not moving from my spot. He narrowed his eyes.

"You do realize what you´re asking, right?" he walked to stand right in front of me.

"Please…I will do anything if you make him leave me." I let my hands caress his shirt already knowing what I had to do, one last time, to finally be free.

"Tempting." He moved forward and kissed my forehead. "But if I´m doing this, I will ask you a little more than this…say, what are you prepared to do to earn your freedom?"

"Alec!" I jumped hearing Izzy call my name. I turned only to see her looking at me with a worried expression before she stomped until she reached my place and put her hands on her hips. I felt a pang in my chest at that sight. It was so painful to see her and not hug her like I wanted to. Now that I had remembered that I hadn´t seen her for an entire year, I felt how much I had missed her, even if I had seen her yesterday. Everything was so confusing and hard, I just wanted it to be over.

"Hey." I whispered and gave her a half smile hoping that she didn't notice how fucked up I really was.

"What happened?" She asked and I had to chuckle, of course I had been too optimistic to think that she wouldn't find out. Her sharp mind was one of the things I loved the most about my sister.

"Nothing…just admiring the view." I shrugged sensing her sitting beside me.

"You know, The Vow was out not long ago." She told me nudging my arm and I frowned not getting what she meant.

"Yeah, so?"

"You mentioned it yesterday." She grinned at me. "Why aren't you smiling? It means that you will remember things! That your brain is okay!" I tried to smile just for her sake but it came out more like a grimace, which got her attention right away. "What is it?" Her voice turned cold, I looked down not knowing how to shove her away, how to tell her to stop asking.

"Just…leave it alone Izzy." I passed my hand through my face feeling drained.

"Look at me." Something in her voice made me look without thinking; her eyes searched in mine and she must´ve found something in them because before I knew it, her hand was colliding with my cheek with surprising strength.

"What the hell?" I put my hand over the abused flesh as I looked at her. "Are you insane?"

"You remember, don't you?" She hissed pushing her fist into my arm. I knew that I couldn't lie to her so I simply nodded. "Since when?"

"A couple of hours ago…I was asleep after getting the most horrible headache I had ever had, and when I woke up it was like I hadn´t forgotten a thing." I swallowed knowing what was next.

"Then you remember why you left."

"Yes." I answered even if I knew that she was not asking me.

"Will you tell us why?"

"No. I can´t." I got up and started pacing.

"Why? What was so important that you left your husband and your family without a second thought?" She followed my movements and grasped my arm pulling me until I faced her again.

"Do you think it was easy for me? Do you think that one day I just decided to leave?"

"I don't know! Why do you start telling the truth for a change?" she snarled pushing her index finger into my chest.

"The truth? DO YOU WANT THE FUCKING TRUTH?" I yelled grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a strong shake. "Your mother was a slut; she used to sell herself every fucking day to a different person to get a meal down your throat! She died because a fucking client gave her AIDS" Her eyes began to tear up but I didn't let myself feel guilty, if she wanted the truth, she could have it "AND GUESS WHAT? YOUR BIG BROTHER IS ALSO A FUCKING WHORE!"